I’ve Been Thinking
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.
- Who is this guy “Ed.” and why does he have so many opinions?
- Why am I a dummy for buying a Pepsi?*
- Caveman vs. T-rex : YOU decide.*
- I can say “fuck” right now because it’s my website and I’ll do it if I want to. I live in fucking America.
- Can a book “lunge”?*
- What IS my age again?
- I bet Leno likes paper and Letterman likes plastic.
- There is a natural ebb and flow in the ways of the world — just hold tight and everything will be OK.
- Being a kid is OK. Being a teenager sucks. Being an adult really sucks. Being a fetus is THE BEST!
- Rush Limbaugh isn’t as bad as everyone says he is.
- Hugging has become far too prevalent in our society.
- What’s the rush?
- I’d like to meet Jack Handey.
- An improperly placed fork is a recipe for disaster.
- If you don’t understand someone, it’s fine. Laugh, then think about who you are.
- Don’t worry about Y2K. Worry about stealing all your good jokes from some NBC sitcom.
- You are either smarter than everyone else or way, way, stupider. * (kinda)
- HTML really stands for…. Hot Tamales Malt Liquor… or Hot Toys Men Love…. or Holy Toilet Monkey Liquid.
If you like this column, please e-mail me.
* An inside jke.