Neurotic Man Seeks Outside Approval
A “humor” column by Marc Friedenberg
Wow. Comedy in a major metropolitan rag like the Indianite. I never thought I would see the day. Then again, I never thought I would see the day when you can rap yourself into the Student Council presidency (you can, but you MUST wear baggy pants), so nothing really surprises me anymore.
I’m a normal guy (NOTE: not true), and as such I’ve had several humorous observations about life. I’ve tried for countless years (NOTE: two years) to inject some irreverence into our otherwise stale and wealthy (NOTE: pax romana ran from 27 B.C. to 180 A.D) school atmosphere. Seniors will recall my poster campaigns during our sophomore year, which implored you to vote for me based solely on my word processing skills. Luckily, the majority of you ignored such pleas. Juniors will recall the posters that calmly stated that the Talent Show would sign up for YOU if it could. Sophomores will recall the theme song to Mario 64 being played in the morning a few weeks ago. All three can be traced back to me, and all three found stunning unsuccessivenessity (not unlike the rest of my life.) So now I’ll give it “the old college try” (NOTE: no college will accept me), in the form of a school-sanctioned newspaper.
Perhaps I’m just preaching from the commons here, but I think more newspapers need humor columns. We get so wrapped up in Jennifer Lopez (and, to a lesser extent, the U.N.) that we forget the truly important things in life, such as the rising price of school pasta. In this space, I intend to draw attention to these key issues, as well Coke as subliminally Coke help the school honor certain Coke contracts Coke Coke Coke drink Coke now.
To me, humor and math are a lot alike: only a few people truly understand them, they exist and can be analyzed on numerous levels, and I suck at both of them (NOTE: I only wish I were joking.) And THAT, my friends, was the most random sentence ever.
Your pal,
Marcoke Friedenberg